The Aftermath

So after planting trees in cengkareng and seeing monkeys in ragunan, the next morning (Sunday) I went back to puncak. We had a break night party on Sunday night and it reminded me a lot of Asean Dance. It was pretty much like it, actually. Except I didn’t have to sell flowers while couples were slow-dancing like I had to during the 2004 Asean Dance. All the “big shots” in indo debating world were there and gosh I felt like the rookie in that Vietnam war movie who didn’t know shit and died the second the Vietcong started firing. But all in all it was fun, we (the Los) got to blow the confetti and there was this really nice band calld nunungcs (they’re a college band but I hope they’d go pro soon... v.v. entertaining) and I took photos with lots of people I probably won’t see again for a very long time (very few of them stay in Jakarta). I’m definitely gg 2 miss them.

I’ll particularly miss all the LOs... especially rain and teddy and rosaline and joe who’d helped me sell all the EDS T-shirts on Sunday and Monday (we managed to sell around 70 of them and there were only like 3 tshirts left...). My money-hungry senior made a public announcement, “People, please remember to buy the T-shirt in Banteng 3 (my room) thru SPG astari”, once during the break night party and another time the next morning. And feeling that the publication was still inadequate, the LOs patrol around the area in the elephant-shaped safari car announcing to any debater we passed, “come and buy the tshirts at banteng3...” So you can imagine how my living room was turned into a makeshift retail store with swarms of high school students looking to buy T-Shirts, stickers, and whatever it is we’re selling. It was like Mangga Dua in Jakarta, or Lucky Plaza in Singapore, or Petaling Street in KL, what with Teddy selling in Singlish and Joe selling in his Indian-English accent and Rosaline busy calling her “children” to come and buy the tees... it was practically a flea market.

(Hmmh. I just got a disturbing call but nevermind...)

On Monday morning, before I was selling tees I was finishing up my political science homework and trying really hard to concentrate while many disturbances occurred in the premises (not that I’m not happy... even though my roommate told me afterwards that he’s v.v.religious, and that’s not good since we’re on different wavelengths). Later on during the day, my senior-cum-IVED coach dhika told me that whatever happens in the debating world stays in the debating world (creepy green-mile-sounding statement) and she warned me (as iil repeated yesterday too – and added that debating “memandulkan hidup”) that eventually I would be the same, too – having one life in HI, and another separate one in EDS. I wonder if that’ll happen. I don’t mind if I do, others seem to be managing fine.

Although I hope I’ll stay being “a good person”, like someone said I was (I couldn’t stop grinning moronically when he said that, so much that he must’ve changed his opinion – problem is, I don’t think I am a good person. He’d be v. disappointed, that’s why I now feel uneasy around him). I guess we’ll see.

I went back home Monday night, anxious to finish pending homework leading up to exams and cleaning all the shit that’d been piling up grace a mon absence. Things like FISIP UI in High School, One-Stop Section, OIS, KK, CCF (still haven’t prepared the country presentation – where am I supposed to learn a traditional dance?!?), GIC (I finally started Book 3, meaning less hiragana/katakana and MORE kanji... arrrrghhh), my sociology presentation, TKHI (It finished last night, after three months it’s finally over!!! We got yelled at and everything but after I reached home I was very happy. I wonder why? heehee), my film review, my mpkt homework, my anthropology review, and other things making my life the insane labyrinth it is now.

That’s why the last two weeks were dead hectic. Tomorrow after the political science exam am going to a few high schools in Jakarta to inform and prep them on our event (fisip ui in high school) and then on Thursday (tentatively) will look for extra funding for OSS (one stop section, it’s an event-organizing workshop that we’re organizing) by going on this tv show called celebrity jam. Then next Sunday am going to help out in the christmas celebration organized by my faculty. But the main gig this week is EXAMS.

To thwart stress and fellow anxieties we must therefore try to focus on brighter things in life. Like, for example, someone’s coming back this december. Yay...

Trip to Puncak (Loving It)

Karena request dari jek entry ini pake bahasa indooo (T_T) (ntar brad pitt kalo baca gak ngerti dong???)

Akhirnya gw bisa OL lagi... Setelah 2 hari terdampar di Hotel Safari, Cisarua, Puncak yang warnetnya pake tarif luar negri (20,000 per jam (T_T) ), dan kamar mandinya banyak siput. Tapi seru siy... lumayan sambil liburan nambah2 pengalaman dan sekaligus mengorek informasi tentang upcoming IVED n other debating comps.

Kamis gue dateng siang2 (udah pake bolos sosio.. ternyata tirza telpon dan bilang "eh datengnya ga jadi harus pagi2, jam 4 sore juga gapapa") dan ngebantuin ngurusin registrasi peserta (sampe jam stengah 6 malem... dan smua orang ngira gue angkatan 2003 - do I look that old???) trus dinner n icebreaking. Gw sekamar sama icha (dya tim indonesia tahun 2001 yg dikirim dbat ke south africa), rain, yunita, n rosaline. Mereka semua alumni ISDC taun lalu. Pertama kali gw ngerasa blur banget karena ga tau apa2 tentang ISDC - gue bahkan gak disini taun lalu.. mana tau sih - tapi after a while seru juga. The pple r nice. Ada Icha yg rame bgt (kmaren kita nonton film di HBO yg maen Liam Neeson n Frances McDormand ttg ilmuwan yg mukanya kebakar - cheesy dan ga jelas banget, awalnya kita seru nge-"rebutt" dan ngomentarin dengan sadis tiap adegan, tapi lama-lama cuma bisa geleng-geleng kepala, literally cape d), Teddy yg waktu ke WSDC di Inggris taun lalu sempet dikalahin sama tim Singapur yang isinya junior2 gw di AC arts fac. (ada gayle goh dari ahblue... dunia ini begitu kecil... mungkin pas astrid WSDC lawannya howard yah???), Nick Long yang jadi instructor (ada yang nyesel tuh gak dateng :P), Franz yang sumpah gue gak tahan (spidol gw abis digigitin... ewww), Fajri yg ternyata alumni labs dan telah menyuplai gue dengan gosip2 tentang anak2 labs, orang2 dari ACT, dan anak2 SMA yg lucu2 dari 33 propinsi di sluruh Indonesia... (temen gw ada yg ngefans sama salah satu delegasi dari Papua... sayangnya jarak umur yang menghambat membuatnya harus cukup puas dengan mengelus2 nametagnya saja...)

Tempatnya enak. Udaranya seger adem banget. Tapi tempat2 eventnya saling berjauhan dan berbentuk bungalow2 dan pendopo2 jadi mesti olahraga jalan bolak-balik dari satu tempat ke tempat laennya.. capek.. but still, seru jg sih. Stelah gue ngeliat ISDC gw ngerasa kalo Founders' Trophy kmaren SANGAT AMATIR. Huhuhuhu it's my fault. Next year harus lebi profesional!

Hari ini bangun pagi-pagi buta jam lima (dingin gila) stelah malemnya nonton film gak penting di HBO bareng my roomies di hotel. Karena hari ini harus TKHI (opspek gw.. tinggal 2 minggu lagi... akhir perjuangan sudah dekattt) jam stengah enam brangkat ke FISIP... trus naik bus ke cengkareng nanem2 pohon gitu... then langsung ke ragunan ngeliatin monyet2. Opspek paling hura2 d. Then CCF... Besok pagi2 jam lima ke cisarua lagi. Untungnya Teddy mau nge-cover tugas gw hari ini... my life's saved! Kalo hari ini gw gak dateng TKHI maka sia-sialah perjuangan gw selama 12 minggu nongkrong2 di SBAL dengan gak jelasnya minta tandatangan senior sambil wawancara alias ngomong ngalor ngidul yang sok2an basa-basi demi ngisi data senior... "pohonnya rindang ya... kak , IP pertamanya berapa?" ato pake jurusnya TB yang sok2an nebak2 zodiak demi tau tanggal lahir senior (T_T).

Tapi salut deh sama HI n FISIP yang TKHI dan Sarasehannya (opspek2 itu smua lah) "memanusiawikan manusia" (istilahnya pak komar waktu sarasehan) dan gak pake omel2an gak jelas sama sekali... dan gw seneng bisa kenal sama senior2 yang ajaib2 (mengandung konotasi baik maupun buruk). Ada yang nanyanya sok serius "apa arti nasionalisme bagi kalian?" (???) ato senior 96 yg ngasi pertanyaan aneh kaya' "coba kaitkan teori relativitas einstein dgn teori dialektik historiknya marx" (whuddahell) tapi tetep ada juga yang pantang jaim dan langsung nanya dengan lugas "eh 2006 gosipnya apa aja nih?" (baru tau ternyata anak HI UI banci gosip smuahhh - gw jg ikut ktularan... huehuehue).

Besok pasti capek banget d... dan rasanya miris kalo mengingat menur lagi jadi fashionista blanja2 di bandung (menemukan panggilan hidup tuh) atau cikon yg kata msn messagenya abis "a small dose of retail therapy" (R u sure it's SMALL???). Yah gue sih ngarepin oleh2nya aja... Gw pgn liburan jugaaa. I want to SHOPPPPP. Tasia kapan jadinya kita go on our As-If-We-Were-In-Singapore Shopping Trip???

Trus, jumat kmaren tiba2 ada telpon "mbak, kami dari GIC, ada kelas baru buka, jadi nerusin buku 3 nggak?" Karena 10% tertarik dan 90% rasa bersalah tidak menyelesaikan les jepang akhirnya gw stuju utk nerusin blajar jpang... hiks hiks. Untungnya temen sekamar di kosan gw is practically japanese (snacknya aja kue beras jepang bukan tango atau timtam like normal people... hehehe :P)jadi bisa latian2 ngomong lah... yasudalah ya.

Udah jam stengah 2 pagi. Must sleeppp. Buh Byee.

Trip to Puncak (DONE)

In the end I have to go. They can't find any replacement (Intan can't go) and the notice is too last minute. I won't be staying throughout the entire course (9 days) of the competition. I'll go home on Sunday. Gaah... I hate this. Maybe I can clear my mind in Puncak, though, the weather is much cleaner there and it has a cooler climate so I can probably think of it as a short holiday. I'll be staying in a safari hotel anyway...

I'm trying to look on the bright side of life, and convince myself that it's not so bad.

Okay. Must pack. Ciao.

(Gaah... can someone just punch me already... *sob *sob)

X-(

Trip to Puncak (FAILED)

Argh Argh Argh tomorrow I'm supposed to go to Puncak to LO the ISDC thingy WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS? It sounds really fun actually... I read the itinerary for the week of the competition... They've got a lot of interesting things planned... And I DO want to watch high school debaters fight among themselves. I want to go... IF things had not suddenly turned against me.

The status quo right now is: My head is burning with a fever (probably cause of 3 consecutive sleepless nights), my tooth aches, my ear is ringing (I think it's a follow-up of the SORE THROAT that I'm also sporting), and my heart is broken (Boohoohoo). Not to mention the TESTS we have next week that I would skip if I go to Puncak, the Anthropology extra credit due next Tuesday (which a. I really really need and b. I would not be able to complete and deliver if I go to Puncak), the french class that I would skip (yet again) if I go and the 2 days of TKHI is bound to tire me out even more. Aaaarghh... why do I like to make life difficult?

Everything will work out though... I hope. I told Tirza I couldn't LO. She'd probably NEVER forgive me. But I have no choice. If I leave for Puncak tomorrow, there would be NO life waiting for me when I return, only doom awaits.

That's why I'm certain that I made the right decision to not go to Puncak. My biggest mistake was to agree to it in the first place. Stupid me.

O h w e l l

G o o d n i g h t

In Healing

Another session of MPKT. I was strangely on time. There were nothing to do, as usual, so we ended up discussing our sociology assignment that’s due tomorrow. Me, Dyana and Arum were discussing whether the method used in the given intervention and research on a certain village is a qualitative or a quantitative one. Oh well. Still during MPKT, there was definitely PDA. Someone was Publicly Displaying his Affection to someone else, complete, uncut, uncensored. Aaaw. How sweet... It’s just a matter of time before it’s official, I’m sure. Honestly, why wait? Hmmm? Then we practised some moves for TKHI (my major’s orientation). The moves were so funny... and the songs... ah well let’s just say that on the 9th of December (TKHI day) I’m up for a Major Self Humiliation. At least it’ll be fun to watch. ;-D

The night before yesterday I was conferencing in MSN with some of my old friends from junior college. It was not as difficult as I thought it would be. I thought I’d feel like a complete loser if I ever talk to them again. But apparently I was just being paranoid. And... it’s definitely time to bury the hatchet, move on, get over it, or whatever you call it. Yanice said I haven’t tried my best. Yan and Jaq were really sweet about it and they helped me “orchestrated” the whole conference thingy but it was pretty much a failure coz of stupid technology getting in the way (computers should NEVER disconnect by themselves!). Anyway, I was just kidding myself, after that I immediately felt STUPID for sticking out for so long. Must have been overdue temporary insanity.

SO

Start a new clean slate. C’est la vie. I won’t fall into a mood as described in the song “Sympathie” that my french teacher used to play for us: “Je ne veux pas travailler; Je ne veux pas dejeuner; Je veux seulement oublier; et puis je fume...” (I don’t want to work, I don’t want to eat, I only want to forget, and then I’ll smoke... – SO DEPRESSING).

I’ll be just fineee

I think.

HI 2006

Missing Sing...

Beloved Hostel...




Today's debate training was cancelled. I am torn between a "Yay!" (coz I don't feel like arguing I just feel like sleeping) and a "But I've done so much research..." (coz I've burnt my head trying to remember the Arabic names of the people involved in Saddam Hussein's trial - they all sound similar...) But the point is, I can stay in my room and blog instead so I'm quite happy right now.

PIP was okay. Big lecture group today coz I think Wasabi didn’t feel like teaching and so he left us to combine with another lecture group. MPKT was fun. I was late. As usual. Gossip session. We were talking about how the saying "the grass is always greener on the other side" really applies to people in HI (my major, International Relations) and Politik (Political Science major). And Tyas was doing some kind of "research" to find out who are the most popular guy and girl in HI.

People in HI are, well, unique, I guess (another way of saying they're weird), although I love all of them... There's Tyas, for example, who can write seven pages of essay in MPKT and score full marks for sociology (damn smart right?) and yet she has an incurable addiction to taking photos (she's the worst camera addict ever) and hallucinates of having millions of fans (4,297,435 if I'm not mistaken) worshipping her. And then there's Keshia who has an absurd number of beaded necklaces in all shapes, sizes and colors, and has lately begun to wear matching bracelets as well. There's Syarip and Mario who base their friendship on insulting each other's physical shortcomings constantly (isn't it sweet?). There's Dyana who is really not a college student but an underground mob leader from Priok, she's just escaping from the authorities coz the police would never suspect a HI student to be a criminal. There's Sonie who takes pride in his polka dotted lungs (he's probably a natural born smoker). There's TB who is always deep in thoughts on how to divide his time between homework, playing playstation and saving the world as Spiderman. There's Deky who looks like Doraemon and brings Onigiri to school everyday and call me a "pampered, spoiled, rich kid" (So Not True). There's Dira who's been all over the world and has finally come to the conclusion that Yemen carrots are the best (I want to try one!). There's Freida who looks like a Malaysian, speaks like an American and yet share the same strong appetite for gossips as Indonesians. There's WillY who's just really bitchY and loves a Shanghai BabY. There's Fira who is like Time, meaning she can never stop moving. There's Della who might be seaweed (ganggang) in her previous life coz she plays one so well. There's Menwa who believes sincerely from the bottom of his heart that men are absolutely superior and women are absolutely inferior (wonderful character, yes?). There's Mutti who is really very quiet and never makes funny comments or questions or any disturbance whatsoever (this is an example of sarcasm). There's Anthony who never asks any questions in class, especially when the class is almost over and everyone just want to get out (another example of sarcasm). There's Jenny who seems quiet in class and yet unleashes her true, loud personality outside (kind of like in Drew Barrymore’s movie Doppelganger, just not that creepy). There's Agung who seems calm and quiet and yet causes many hearts outside HI to throb (heehee). There's Lovely (the name itself is strange enough) who has left her home and become a permanent resident of SBAL. There's Yere whose favorite pastime is making summaries (and sharing it with us before each quiz). There's Iam who was the richest man in Semarang and now he's here to conquer Jakarta. There's Moren who pranks people (miscalls their phones, touches their hair, screams in a funny accent etc.) during class. There's StevIE who brings Amanda's BrownIE and aspires to be a celebritIE. And twenty more interesting characters... (I'll write about it some other time...)

Lanxiu called today. It was 1 am in the US. She told me how people there are very ethnocentric, and they feel that they are truly THE superpower and the rest of the world owes them, hence they are entitled to do whatever they want. Sounds pretty fabulous to be an American then. I forgot to tell her how recently this week Bush came to Jakarta, and he was making such a fuss with all the protocols and preparations for his arrival (to the extent of destroying endangered lotuses in order to make room to build a new helipad for his landing), hence there were all sorts of protests going on and college students were marching on the streets in protest and there were all sorts of anti-Bush movements going on. Some say he was just being careful and taking all the necessary precautions in order to ensure his safety, but others think he was paranoid or was just being such a diva (like JLo when she absolutely must have her eyebrow shaper fly from New York to LA because her eyebrows desperately need trimming).

...the dogs won't stop barking downstairs for some reason or other. I have three dogs. It used to be two, then one of them got raped by a sleazy conniving little dachshund and gave birth to four puppies, then we gave two of the puppies and their mother to my neighbor and my sister's friend. So now there are only three dogs left. Nero, Baby, and Fluffy. I know, the names are cliché... Baby is a nickname by the way her real name is Banana. Okay never mind this is starting to sound weird. Oooh they've finally stopped barking. Peace and quiet. Maybe my sister's taking them for a walk. Nice.

What else did we talk about on the phone? Oh we were talking about Singapore and how we miss it a lot. At least in Jakarta we still have NYDC, Pastamania and La Mian Xiao Long Bao. She has to eat yucky western food everyday. She said American pastas suck. Talking to Lanxiu made me miss Singapore even more... I want to go to FarEast LevelOne and buy Shihlin Taiwanese Street Snack, I want a BurgerKing breakfast with hash browns, I want to shop at Wisma Atria TopShop, I want to browse for books at Borders, I want to watch choir concerts at Esplanade, I want to walk around in Clarke Quay, I want to shop at Cold Storage, I want to study at starbucks with a tall rhumba frapp (they don't make rhumbas anymore), I want to go to Body Shop sales at Suntec City, I want to eat the crepes and waffles at Marche in Heeren, I want IKEA meatballs... Gosh I'm such a drama queen.

Back to reality. Exams in twelve days!!! MUST STUDY in order to get a 4.0 (is that even remotely possible?) Oookay. TTFN.

Online

my friend's farewell party! I just downloaded the photo online... :)

New Internet Connection! FINALLY!!!

What to write? What to write? It's been a while since I actually OWN an internet connection... let's see... I think the last time was in 1997, when microsoft black-and-white comic chat was still cool. I used to e-mail this guy from Turkey who ended up working at NASA or something. He was my first friend online. The point is, I'm really psyched now that my internet connection is up and running and more importantly, it's MINE!! Mwahahahahaha... After years of sharing boarding school/ hostel internet I'm finally liberated!

They used to censor the internet at my boarding school so we can't really visit that many sites coz the MOE (Ministry of Education) were always sort of watching us. No, seriously. Once my friend S sent me, AS A PRANK, a picture of a certain tool that samantha from sex and the city liked to use (can't even say the name of the tool in case my little sister reads this... anyway it looked like a vacuum cleaner but not really), that were being sold on ebay or yahoo auction. It was a JOKE. But apparently the next day there were new flyers posted all over the notice boards in my boarding school saying, " Your Internet Connection is Being Monitored, please do not visit or access sites with.... blah blah blah etc etc". It's so embarassing that it's hilarious.

Anyway, enough reminiscing. Back to the topic. SO now I can research stuff, email people, use messenger (not right away really haven't downloaded it yet, tomorrow perhaps), blog, download programs, auction stuff, buy stuff, and do whatever I want online... Mwahahahahaha the sky is the limit!!!

Okay Enuff already. Must do research on Saddam Hussein's execution. Why? Tomorrow's IVED training debate motion is "This House Believes in the Execution of Saddam Hussein". Don't know yet whether I'm the affirmative or the negative. Capital punishment debate. Arrgh. I want to watch DVD or feed my fish or play suikoden or redecorate my room or whatever. Anything but work.

Okay JUST one more story. My weekend! So yesterday I finally went to CCF after skipping french classes for over a month (cause I've sold my soul to debating this month... :_-( oh well) and thankfully I can still understand what people were saying (although I stumbled and stuttered most of the time). After class I went to "le kioske", the french bookshop in kemang to trade my book prize voucher and bought myself (well not really coz I didn't pay) four french books (yippee) and one of them is called "Destination: Paris" HEEHEE so happy. Can't wait to go and try the stupid escargot.

I've decided on a tour. Among the sixteen packages they are offering for the prize there is one that appeal to me most... I've consulted J since she goes to her husband's country a few times each year so she must know France very well. There's this one package that offers a few days in Paris, and then I get to visit the Alps and the Cote d'Azur and stay at a holiday lodging/a homestay for a few days at the mountains and after that I would go down to the mediterranean cities and beaches and visit Monaco and Nice and all that. Waaaa can't wait can't wait. I hope the apocalypse won't come before July 22, my departure date. I can't die before I see Europe.

Gosh I sound so lame. Heehee. Back to my story. So after I went to the bookshop on Saturday we went for dinner at KemangFoodFest and I think I overinhaled a grape-flavored shisha coz my throat felt funny afterwards. But the food were nice. Watched "Scoop", the new Hugh Jackman movie - I swooned.

CONCLUSION : Initial plan to STUDY for end-of-semester exams FAILED MISERABLY.

I am going to study tonight, though. And tomorrow night. And the night after that. AMEN.

Wasted

It is done,
It is lost; and now there is none.
Reason returns from her walk in her park,
Abandons daydreams and castles in the sky.

Rubies of the past and strange pearls in corals,
Chains of chances and fates unmet,
Grim thoughts of tomorrow and yesterday's luck,
Forever now are treasures of the past.

Arriving quietly, my train stops at last.
And with the violent energy of martyrs and cowards
Welcomes the point of no return and sighs
The fuming hoards of this century's angst.

For it is done; it is lost; it has ended and now the curtain falls
And through the empty roads strange forms shall appear
Shadows eclipsed from the lost, distant years;
Missed chances and failed ideals shall roam the rivers
and bleak countenance in every man's freight.

Will they ever know?
Will they ever notice?
Will they see the signs?
When it is too late when it is lost when all is done
And the only thing that is coming is
The lingering regret of one's wasted time.